Everyone knows that when a lady is pregnant she has all kinds of hormones swirling around in her pretty little head that can make her seem like a mad woman at times! What a lot of people don’t realize is that when a miscarriage happens, those hormone levels have to go back to their original baseline which is a jolt to the system on top of being sad because the baby died. Some women experience glimpses of postpartum depression after a miscarriage because of this surge of hormones. I, fortunately, did not experience any of that. The surge of hormones in addition to having our baby die did make for many tearful days and nights and just feeling “blue” on top of being in physical pain from the D&C. Wade and I are so fortunate to be surrounded by so many people who love and care for us who are making this healing process so much easier. I am back at work which is a welcomed distraction. We still have some healing to do, but that is true with any grief process. Something would be very wrong with us if we weren’t sad now. What makes this harder is that we have been trying for so long. We are hopeful for the future, but right now we need to be sad and move through our grief process in a healthy way.
With that said, I was a little blue on New Year’s Eve. Some of it most definitely had to do with the baby, but also last year was so yucky and I was skeptical that this year would be full of fresh beginnings. I spent all of NYE day cleaning the house, moving furniture and loading Christmas into the attic. We went to eat at Liberty in the Vista and watched most of the USC/FSU game there (which didn’t have a good outcome). I just was blah. The next day I shredded documents and cleaned, cleaned, cleaned. Obviously I was trying to distract myself from thinking about baby Andrew, but boy did I pay for it Sunday. I didn’t realize my body was not healed and I had to take it so easy for a couple of weeks. I started having severe cramping and complications which landed me in the bed all day Sunday – which gave me lots of time to think about what had just happened in our lives and to do some good healing.
We didn’t have a WOW new year, but it was a time of reflection and healing which is always a good thing.
Here’s to wishing 2011 to be a wonderful year for us and all who we know!
At Liberty
Fireworks from Finlay Park
By the Christmas Tree in the Vista
No comments:
Post a Comment