We're Alive

Hey Y'ALL!!


Well, couldn't have gone much longer without a post or two, so here I am. Wade I still need to post some things about Christmas, but not today. I hope to maybe get to that this weekend???

Our lives have taken a bit of a pause. I have been processing a lot over the past few weeks, and now feel I am at a good enough place to finally post about it. Wade and I went up to Montreat the day after my birthday for The Blaze conference for youth leaders. We had a great time at Montreat, as usual. I made the 'mistake' of declaring to Wade "you know, God always speaks at Montreat or shortly thereafter - you just wait and see." Well - I hate to say it to him, but Wade, I told you so..... it just didn't come in the nice little neat Montreat package that it usually comes in for me/us.

First - I started itching terribly on my lower back while we were up there. I had little 'bites' on my back that were multiplying every day. Well I was convinced they were bed bug bites. I made sure to let the hotel staff know. Well, I went to work on Monday with welts all over the left side of my back. They were still itching. They were still growing in number and in size! I talked to the pharmacist at work who told me to go to the doctor, which I really did not want to do. I asked my boss, who is a nurse. She asked to see the bed bug bites --- she said BIG GASP!! THAT IS SHINGLES! I said WHAT?!?!? So I went to the doctor, and sure enough - the shingles. Awesome. I am just now starting to feel normal again. They still hurt on occasion, but the welts have almost gone all the way down and are healing nicely. I have been putting vitamin E on them in hopes there will be no scarring.

So this was Monday Jan 11 that I found out I had the shingles. The doctor put me on some medicine which I had a HORRIBLE and very RARE reaction to. I mean ---- I cannot even describe to you how awful I felt, and poor Wade had to deal with it. This was Thursday night that the reaction hit its peak. I was running a fever Thursday and Friday so stayed home from work. Well - Wade came home from work early on Friday - about 1:30. I was so excited he was home! I thought - man - what a sweet man. He came home early to spend time with me!! He knew I had an awful week, with very little sleep and was having a terrible time with the shingles. No such luck.

Wade came home to tell me he lost his job. Yup. I felt my heart fall into the pit of my stomach. I just started bawling. He had no idea this was coming. Honestly, he was 'done wrong' with this company for reasons I cannot go into, and I am not just saying he was done wrong because he is my husband - he truly and honestly was done wrong.

They took his cell phone, computer, turned off our house internet and house phone since they paid for it all. We have literally had to bring him back up to speed. We even got him a g-mail account :). Our insurance cut off at midnight the night he was let go (on a Friday). So we scrambled around to get information about insurance at my work.

So how does this tie into God speaking at Montreat? Well - I had meetings pretty much every night of the week, was working way too hard, sometimes up to 16 hours a day, and had neglected myself care in this process. It was a huge wake up call to me that I have got to start getting more rest, eating better and exercising more often so something worse does not happen. I have taken this wakeup call very seriously. This is the first week I have felt human again, and I have exercised three days this week.

So, you may be asking..... So how did God speak at Montreat about Wade losing his job?!?! Because Wade has been praying for several months now for God to remove him from negative situations that were preventing him from growing as a person. Well - here we are! The comfort we rest in when we start to fret about the money running out is - God isn't just going to leave us in the desert. If He wanted to remove Wade from the negativity at work (believe me, it was rampant, and I had been telling him that for years now), then God isn't done with His answer! As in Jeremiah, God has hope for us and a future! He has plans not to harm us but to give us a future! What a promise. We are going to be fine, because we are held in His hand, and I believe that with all of my being, and so does Mr. Wade. I was preparing for my women's Bible study last week, and one of the quotes was “A weary Christian lay awake one night trying to hold the world together by his worrying. Then he heard the Lord gently say "You can go to sleep now. I'll sit up." Ruth Bell Graham.

I read that quote by Ms. Ruth, and it just shook me and brought tears to my eyes. I have found such a comfort and peace in that.

We have learned through the loss of Wade's job and my illness, what a huge support system we have in Columbia, which I don't think we truly knew we had. We had a few friends bring us meals, which was so humbling. We have had so many caring calls, e-mails and letters and people taking Wade's resume all over creation. It has been a bit over whelming for both of us. I know this is an opportunity for us and for Wade. I know there is something amazing out there for him, and I am so excited for this to reveal itself to us.

So, I told you so Wade - God always speaks to the core of my soul at Montreat. Our faith is becoming stronger, our relationship with each other is growing deeper, and our hearts are overwhelmed with love from those around us. I heard this song by Edwin McCain tonight and it really made me think about where we are in our life...."It's not all that hard to survive, you take the good and the bad and the time in between, it lets us know we're alive...." and.... as most of you know - music is my emotional release.  This song is ust perfect for where I am right now.

"Alive"

Al, he sells records down on old St. Charley's Street

He's cleaning up Fat Tuesday's mess he keeps the sidewalks neat

And he just lost his father and he just lost his wife

And if it wasn't for the music he couldn't get on with his life

And he knows what I know

It's not all that hard to survive

You take the good and the bad and the time in between

It lets us know we're alive

Well now Be Be's singing gospel

And down on Bourbon she sings the blues

She plays on all my heart strings curls my toes up in my shoes

And she knows what I'm after

Chase my dreams with all my might

She says you shouldn't be so anxious

And deep down I know she's right

And she knows what I know

It's not all that hard to survive

You take the good and the bad and the time in between

It lets us know we're alive

Well get on board the rocket

Step right into the front car

You know life's a roller coaster

It ain't got no safety bar

Raise your voices up with laughter

Bring it in with one big sigh

Consecrated in the wonder...we're alive

Norman he plays music but only in my dreams

Shows me all the beauty that soulful music brings

But sometimes he's a specter and I wake up clenched with fear

But lesson good or bad he always keeps me clear

And he knows what I know

It's not all that hard to survive

You take the good and the bad and the time in between

It lets us know we're alive